(from the moon series)
What exactly hurts so bad?
Because you’re okay in the moment.
It’s just when you look ahead
that your chest tightens.
It’s just when you start imagining
the hot days of June and the nostalgic
days of April. It’s just an overworked
mind playing time against reality and losing.
It’s just worry and hunger and expectation
and fatigue and happiness like a wedding party
at a reception inverted. It’s just sadness you can avoid
by escaping into spirituality. Spiritual escapism? Hm.
It’s just Saturday night in the bus station with ten thousand faces
walking by, none of which you know. It’s just the moon in orbit, as usual,
that you keep envisioning. Envisioning careening off path, careening away
and so you struggle to hold on. You fight to keep it, you push against movement
and you know it’s a futile revolution.
Jun 16, 2010
Moon Over Going Home
(from the moon series)
doesn’t want to go home,
isn’t ready yet, reads and writes
and tries to distract and fails
(are thoughts the most powerful force
in the universe?),
shrivels stomach, empties tear ducts,
sweats and cracks the ________
and finally gets to the point,
the one that only comes with time,
where the soul, the mind, and the heart
debate, come to make arrangements,
agreements, to repeal the taxation
and allow the body to breathe once again,
breathe like it always could,
breathe like before the wild seed
of love was planted in the black,
unmoving meadow, again.
doesn’t want to go home,
isn’t ready yet, reads and writes
and tries to distract and fails
(are thoughts the most powerful force
in the universe?),
shrivels stomach, empties tear ducts,
sweats and cracks the ________
and finally gets to the point,
the one that only comes with time,
where the soul, the mind, and the heart
debate, come to make arrangements,
agreements, to repeal the taxation
and allow the body to breathe once again,
breathe like it always could,
breathe like before the wild seed
of love was planted in the black,
unmoving meadow, again.
Last Moon Over Granada
(from the moon series)
doesn’t want to set, pleads
with time, asks the impossible,
knows it’s impossible, still wants
a freeze on movement and sinks
a little in disappointment. Fills
with hope and fear, tears up
and tears down all the pictures
on the wall, the Indian feathers
and lists of things to do, the books
and the towels hung from pegs,
the clothes in the closet, the settled
feeling only constructed after months,
the Spanish album covers and La Sierra
Nevada. It’s too late, is it too late?
It’s not too late. In these last clutch moments,
wild assumptions, spontaneous urges
to revolt, replant, redirect the concrete
and burn the house to the foundation.
But alas, the moon knows under it all
there is hope, there is time and loose ends
tie in the end.
doesn’t want to set, pleads
with time, asks the impossible,
knows it’s impossible, still wants
a freeze on movement and sinks
a little in disappointment. Fills
with hope and fear, tears up
and tears down all the pictures
on the wall, the Indian feathers
and lists of things to do, the books
and the towels hung from pegs,
the clothes in the closet, the settled
feeling only constructed after months,
the Spanish album covers and La Sierra
Nevada. It’s too late, is it too late?
It’s not too late. In these last clutch moments,
wild assumptions, spontaneous urges
to revolt, replant, redirect the concrete
and burn the house to the foundation.
But alas, the moon knows under it all
there is hope, there is time and loose ends
tie in the end.
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