I step onto cold concrete, stand
facing the cement wall, the metal door slams
shut behind my back and when the officer leaves,
it is quiet. Quiet enough to hear the walls,
to feel the six by eight cell tighter than my skin,
but I don’t yell, just clench my fists white
close my eyes black search for freedom
without moving a single inch.
Makes me think uglier than death,
trying to escape without using walls,
without tearing my fingernails out
digging holes in the floor.
Makes me want to bash my head
into those bars of steel or take those sheets
so pure white and bloody them
red as that little girls heart
I held last night after
her whole body yelled
“Why me?” at the deaf moon.
They take away your necktie,
and your knife. They take away
your right to take your own life,
it’s the reversal of murder,
they make you stay alive, trap you
in a prison cell with the monster humming
all night long, and wake up pleading,
“Devil please, I just want to kill”.
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